Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Suicide...

Alright dream followers my dreams took on the depressing and awful last night.....

But first just plain weird!

Apparently, I was in a real life Grey's Anatomy situation. This dream involved a lot of running. I was running from room to room spouting off doctor lingo. The next thing I hear is Bailey's coming! We can't figure out what the hell is going on but, I am paged to go to her. She comes struggling down the hallway saying "I'm on my second, I'm on my second!" I had no idea what that meant, but I followed her. Next thing I know she's laying in a hospital bed with legs up ready to give birth! It all made sense, she wanted me to deliver the baby! So I literally see everything! That kind of vivid I wish my mind would do with out! I deliver her sweet baby girl! Cutest freaking thing I have ever seen! The rest of the dream we are just playing and coddling Bailey's baby!

Now onto depressing...

My first dream was terrible. I was sitting in my house and hosting a group of people. We were trying to figure out what to do, but people were going in and out of the scene. So I grew tired of it. I walk into the kitchen to grab something when my mom finds me and tells me that Sam, my closest cousin, has committed suicide. The rest of the dream I am trying to find her and the body. Trying to find out why she would do that. I go to her house, her school, car, girlfriend's house, and no one knows where she is. That's basically the end of that dream, but it was so realistic that I needed to text Sam when I woke up to make sure everything was ok.

The next dream again has to do with death, the death of my mom. However, this dream was weird. I barely remember them telling me my mom was dead. I was confused and distraught. Natalie was there and she took my mom's phone. Dad and I couldn't be in the city anymore so we headed out to out lake house. Except that mom was with us in the car, she was driving. It didn't make sense. I think she knew that she was dead, but she could still be with us. On the ride up Natalie kept calling me with my mom's phone and it was literally torture. My mind skipped over the actual lake trip and mourning part, mainly because I don't think I could fathom it. On our way back we stop at a gas station to load up on fuel and junk food. I was so confused about my mom's death that I just kept wondering around the gas station. Eventually I go to check out and the car is gone. They left without me! I found a way back and actually made it back before they did. The rest of the dream I am moping about.

Ok that's it dream people! I don't know why my dreams went crazy or depressing, but oh well!

Marathon news!

Rain or shine, I'm still going to run!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Crocodile Dundee!

Last night my dream was actually kind of funny except for when it wasn't!
I am a little foggy as to the order of events, but I think it goes something like this....

I am with my parents and Noelle and we are checking into a hotel and first things first they booked us in the wrong tower of the hotel and my mom is furious! I kind of tuned out while she was yelling at the front dest. So I join my dad, Noelle, and some guy looking around the gift shop. There are fun knick knacks and such. We are playing with some toy when mom returns and says they are sending us to the bayou. What the hell? Bayou?

The next thing I remember is sitting in our hotel room and mom became very sick. Noelle and I were nursing her back to health, but she is still coughing up blood. We get a break from nursing duty and head out to the bayou to just relax and take a dip in the river. The river was clogged, it was supposed to have a pretty fast flow, this river was barely moving. However, it made for nice swimming so we swam around. Mom came out to join us and Noelle and I start freaking out! Mom is sick, she needs to be back in bed! As we were yelling at her mom jumps in the river to swim around. We then see something in the far distance, a huge 8 foot tall crocodile! We immediately tell mom to get out of the water and get to the ledge so we can climb the cliff! As soon as we start yelling at her the croc sees us and heads straight for us! We all scramble towards the nearby cliffs! We reach the cliffs and start climbing as fast we can but the croc is gaining on us! I am the last one up and the crocodile immediately jumps for my feet! He stays down there waiting for us to move or make a mistake! Noelle says that sometimes crocs can be bribed to swim away and not attack. Noelle pulls out $110 and tells the croc she'll give it to him for safe passage back to our hotel room, and he accepts. He had kind of a goofy grin and looked more silly than menacing once we gave him our money. We then head straight for the shore and never look back! As soon as we return we check out.

That's all I got from my dream world!

From my half marathon world,

Yesterday was kind of funny! First of all, I actually woke up early so I could run, which is an amazing accomplishment because if I could stay in bed all day I would. So after getting up and making a nice marathon friendly breakfast I begin my run. What I have been focusing on is running for long amounts of time and not necessarily distance. So I set my timer for 15 minutes and head out. At the end of 15 minutes I turn around from where I am and head back. Pretty easy right? Well I am running and usually after about 4 songs the timer goes off. Well I got lost in my head and I notice that it's been probably 7 or 8 songs! I check my timer and it says 14:38 so I thought I only had 20 more seconds. So I keep running and listening to the song. Then the song ends... I am so determined to just keep running that I didn't properly check the timer. Somehow at the beginning of my run the timer paused itself. So who knows for how long I was actually running! I am guessing probably around 30 minutes! I was making some distance too and I thought wow awesome I am the coolest person alive! So I start my time again and head back towards my apartment. In the last few minutes of the run, one of my favorite songs comes on and I get a second wind! I start picking up my pace and then head to a full on sprint! As soon as I finish the run I feel awesome!

I hope that finishing the marathon has half the effect that this run had on me!

Monday, January 23, 2012

Observation of self

I have a thing for old time circuses with a specific emphasis on carousels...

I didn't really realize this until I started daydreaming of carousels and fantastical circuses.

Here's the thing, I was listening to my favorite song Carousel by Iron and Wine, which really has nothing much to do with carousels considering all the metaphors and topics touched in the song, and I noticed that the sounds of old time circuses really bring me comfort! I then noticed the next song to pop up was First Love by Adele, which again has nothing to do with circuses except the melody! So upon even further reflection I noticed that a lot of my favorite things have some type of circus theme to it, albeit the tune of the song, theme of the book, snippet of a plot, or joyful memories!

First, one of my favorite books of all time literally takes place in a 1920's train circus. Of course this book was adapted into a movie and now is one of my favorite movies. Water for Elephants in my mind is a great love story with amazing imagery and passion.

Then, in another one of my favorite books the pivotal scene takes place on a carousel. The Pact, an incredibly depressing book, is based on the events that occur on the carousel. Once again a great read, I highly suggest it!

Finally, my favorite tv show of all time, Grey's Anatomy, has a scene on a carousel. The scene is a memory that tremendously affects the plot of the entire show. I could explain it to you, but I fear you would think it inconsequential. Thus I will not bore you, but I wanted to show you that carousels and circuses are everywhere in my life!


But why circuses? Some people think they are creepy, dirty, or even lame. I don't know! I think circuses are another method to my daily escape. What if I were a trapeze artist? What if I rode a carousel and my life changed? I don't have an answer for you, but I do think I have discovered something new about myself and that maybe I should look further into it!

Another question you might ask, what does this have to do with your dreams and the theme of this blog? I came here to read about your crazy mind and now you are spouting off random stuff about your life!

I just want to say that I have dayDREAMED numerous times of carousels and old circuses and the more I discover myself I think the more my dreams will make sense! Therefore, here is my little epiphany for you all to read and I hope that you gain some insight as well!

*Shout out to LivingArete for giving an awesome christmas present that I will treasure forever! Further shout out to my awesome friends you guys kick ass and take names, thanks for keeping me true to me by being you! Does that make sense?

Love,
Loca

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Celebrate good times!

So today I accomplished something...

The first step of pre-training was to gain the ability to run for 30 minutes straight, and I DID IT! It may seem like nothing to many of you, because many of you can run forever because of long legs, or athletic ability, or love of running. But let me assure you I have none of those things. Short person with even shorter legs, curvy body, and I hate running. I cannot even tell you how much I hate running. Running for minutes on end is one of my least favorite past times! Yet I accomplished running for 30 minutes without stopping today! I FUCKING DID IT! I am no where near being trained, but that first milestone was ruining my life! I was becoming cranky with my friends and I was generally unhappy, but no more!!!!!!! I did it! And I will continue to run and cross the half marathon off my bucket list, because I am strong, I have faith in God, and I can do something for me! Even if it is something that I hate with a passion!

***Sidenote: some of you may be confused as to why I am doing something I hate so much, and I will have an answer for you when I know how to explain it!

OH! Also, I pulled a Kenzie and did some celebratory shopping on modcloth.com! Yay new clothes!

Nightmare...

Well last night I had my first nightmare in a while.

It all started pretty normal. I was with my parents in some town and we were just shopping around in different shops. I had been to one of the shops in real life or in another dream, I can't remember. There was an artifact that I remember wanting so badly. It looked like a dream catcher but has a feather with some sort of token at the end of the feather. Then I tell my parents I am returning to the hotel and I see a different scene emerging. I walk towards the scene and it has Jennifer Aniston and Nicole Kidman. Nicole is telling Jennifer that she always gets all the guys and it's not fair. She then proceeds to tell her that there is one drawback. Dead  men are even crawling out of the ground to get to Jennifer. Nicole looks over towards the doorframe and a hand starts crawling out of the door frame. The hand is green and rotted and black, disgusting and scary. Jennifer didn't see it. So I keep watching the doorframe for more hands. Then the the hand reemerges with the other hand soon following it, Jennifer sees it this time. We all fall in fear and start scrambling backwards as the hands reach the mid forearms.

 Then I wake up, because my dear friend Abby calls me to ask if I will help her make up a sexy Britney Spears dance. And of course I say yes! I then look at the my TV and a scary movie was playing so I figured my scary dream stemmed from that!

Of course now that I write out this scary dream it doesn't seem as scary. But dead hands that are crawling out of door frames freak me out!

Also, for future reference bloggers I will also be posting about training for a half marathon. Hopefully by writing about my training I can become more inspired to cross this off my bucket list. I am just not inspired at all and running for long amounts of time seems awful. Any ideas to get my motivation juices flowing, because man I need help!

Too da loo, bloggers, until next dream or thought!

Friday, January 13, 2012

Getting a complex!

This dream is short and sweet, but I must write out all of my dreams! There is a theory that the more you record your dreams the more vividly you remember them. Well so far this theory is working pretty well. So if you ever question why I post short dreams and not just the crazy ones, this is why! This was also my second dream of the night; it came after the previous posted dream.

I am shopping around with my parents. We were walking around a small strip mall just checking out the small shops and boutiques. A lot of the dream consists of going in and out of different shops and trying on things. My mom lately has been preoccupied by singleness and the potential for lack of grandchildren. In the dream one of the last stops was in a wedding dress shop that served as a boutique and library. Weird I know. Anywho after trying on a wedding dress to help my mom out, I decided to check out the library.

The library was awesome! It was my favorite kind of library, it had low book cases of dark wood. Outside of the library there was a beautiful garden with all kinds of green life. There was also an awesome staircase that was sort of shaped like a waterfall. Meaning the top was sort of narrow and the base of the stairs were wide in marble. I loved it! It was my get away. It inspired creativity and imagination without overwhelming the senses. Well I was perusing the shelves and the librarian bitch told me it was closing time soon and I needed to leave. Then she made some snide comment about my singleness and shortness. I can't remember exactly what she said, but I started yelling at her. Telling her she is a rude old shrew who couldn't even dream of love because her nose is stuck in the bindings of books and her ass is larger than the dewey decimal system! I run out of the library/boutique with my parents in tow and tell them what that brat said.

Then that was it for that dream. The reason I named it getting a complex is because I think my dream was telling me that you are feeling insecure about singleness and shortness. BLAH! For future reference I HATE being picked up because people think I'm so short and cute that I can be picked up like a child! Last night while I was partying I was picked up multiple times and it bothered me!

Anywho I hope you all enjoyed my dreams or didn't!

Circus

Last night's dream is a little hazy, but I am going to do my best to replay it for you all.

I was with another girl. I don't know her in real life, but she was my best friend in the dream. We were walking out of school when we saw this circus vehicle. We decided the circus magician life sounded a lot better than the life we were living. We joined this family of magicians and our first gig was soon! We weren't trained in the deceivery of magicians so our job was to entertain the crowd and prance around like court jesters. The stage we were supposed to be performing on the main stage which seated thousands of people, but we were stuck on the stage that only seated hundreds. I didn't mind because it was our first gig and didn't want such a huge audience! My friend was up first on stage and she was supposed to dress up as a starfish and prance around and joke and stuff. Well she drank way too much before taking stage and we had to pump her stomach just to get her off stage! She was stuck in her starfish costume! I couldn't find my way to the stage to help her out. I was just wondering around trying to find a door to the stage! Finally, I found my way and took stage as a mermaid!

That's when I woke up with a terrible hangover headache!