Alright this is just plain embarrassing/annoying. Once again, I dreamed of Jared last night and I am getting extremely annoyed by this. What's that, three dreams in a row now? I do not want to be with my ex, I wish him the best in life, and yes maybe I still love him. BUT I love him in the way that I want him to have the best and to be even a little bit as happy as I am right now. However, I can't control my dreams and right about now I wish I could.
Anyway, so this dream started out with my dad and I walking down Jared's old street. We needed to visit their house for some reason and it was really late at night. I wasn't worried about seeing Jared because I know right now he doesn't have a car (which makes me extremely happy) and he can't come back to his parents' house ever. I wanted to see his little sister Jennifer, which she's really more of my little sister because Jared is a crap older brother, and hang out with his mom. We all hung out all night just chatting and laughing, easy as it used to be. Jennifer and I never fall asleep because we are up all night talking. Just as we are about to fall asleep her alarm goes off for school and immediately I feel bad because I kept her up all night. She bolts out the door and I am kind of sitting like a lame duck not really knowing what to do. My dad left a long time ago and I lost my ride. As I get up to change and do something with my life, in walks Jared. I cover up my semi-naked body and start apologizing for being there. I say "I know we broke up, and they aren't my family, I just wanted to hang out with Jennifer and check on her..." He cuts me off and says, "I've always loved that about you, I still love you and I want to reconcile things." I don't what to say, what do I say? He takes my silence as a cue to kiss me. This time I didn't want his kiss, I was too confused to enjoy it. The dream ends with me being confused about my life and Jared.
Oh wait that didn't change when I woke up! No I am happy, ready to fall in love again with who I don't know, but that's the nice thing about it I don't know who I will love. Now if only Jared would quit plaguing my dreams, I would be on top of the world!
So long mis amigos!
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